An Open Letter to the One who Hates My Leadership

 To The One who Hates My Leadership,

If you’re wondering if this letter’s for you, it could be. If you’ve ever criticized the way I lead or told others how “concerned” you are about the way I do things, you should keep reading. I know you’ve already decided my words don’t mean much to you, but you may be surprised at what I’m going to say.

I’ve been in ministry for several years now. Its been the greatest blessing of my life. I love working for the Kingdom of God, and the rewards FAR exceed any “normal” jobs I’ve held. These aren’t monetary rewards, because  in all honesty ministry doesn’t pay the bills. But to see people’s lives changed goes way beyond any amount of money I could ask for.

So, why am I writing you today? I’ve never been one that likes confrontation, so I’ve sat silently for years while you picked apart every piece of me. You’ve said I’m not qualified. You’ve said my past is too messy for me to lead others. You’ve even attacked my family and made up ridiculous lies to try and tear us apart.

Don’t worry… I’m not angry with you. If I took every complaint seriously I would be depressed and miserable. I’d be added to the list of the 3,000 ministers who will quit this year because of their negative experiences within the church.

But I do have a question for you:

“Why is it okay for you to criticize me, while expecting nothing but grace for your weaknesses in return?”

Interesting fact: I don’t know why God would choose me to lead His people. I’m no better than anyone I lead. I have faults and weaknesses. And as unbelievable as it may be, I AM HUMAN.

No matter how hard I try to be perfect and blameless, if you are looking for my faults you’ll always find them. And I know you… Not only will you find them, but you’ll enjoy exposing them by telling others how imperfect I truly am.

Ironically, you want my prayers, my dedication to you and your family, and my unconditional love… But all I want from you in return is your honesty.

You can disagree with me as much as you need to. I really don’t mind. But instead of bashing me or trying to destroy me, come to me. Tell me your concerns. I’m not perfect and I admit that I make mistakes. But we can make each other better if we do it in love.

And if I don’t take your advice, don’t get offended. Because of the position God has placed me in, I am responsible to see the bigger picture. ALL authority is in place by God, so I do my best not to disappoint Him.

I’ve been diagnosed with “incurable” conditions. I’ve had people I love attempt suicide. I’ve watched others suffer in the bondage of addiction. I’ve been told I may never have children. In fact, all of this happened within one week!

So, what am I trying to say? Ministers go through things too. In fact, our leadership makes us prime targets because the enemy knows if he can cause us to fall, others will fall with us. We are constantly on guard from every type of temptation and attack, and that can be exhausting. We don’t want you to feel sorry for us, because we CHOOSE this life.

But it probably makes you wonder why we do it. Why would we continue to lead, knowing that it makes life harder?

The answer is simple. We do it for YOU. Believe it or not, we truly love you. While you talk about us, try to get us removed from position and want to take our roles, we are praying for you, searching for ways to show you our hearts and desperately hoping that you can see how overwhelming Christ’s love is for you.

If I have offended you in some way, I apologize. I probably don’t know you’re offended. So come to me, talk with me and lets act like Christians.

If you want my position in ministry or feel there is someone else more qualified, pray about it. I follow God alone, and if He asks me to move I will humbly step aside. But in the meantime, I will do my best to lead His people with all of my human imperfections.

With Love,
Machal Brewington

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