Machal Brewington

meI play many roles in this crazy life that God created me to live. I am a mommy to a beautiful son and a wife to the greatest man ever put on this planet. I am a Life Coach to young women in Foster care, a dance coach, and a mentor to many. But above all of these, I am a laid down lover to Jesus Christ. 

My life has been the greatest example of a beautiful mess that God has ever written. Just a few years ago I was in the darkest hole of my life. On the outside I was all put together, but on the inside I was a true disaster. I was broken and depressed, truly void of hope. I was lost and run over by the things life had pulled me through.

But I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I’d rather start at the beginning…

I grew up dating one person the majority of my life. We met when I was just a young girl and we were CRAZY for each other from that day on. Late night phone calls and love letters marked the beginning of our long distance relationship, but once high school hit things became much more intense. I was a Christian and had been my entire life. My virginity was extremely important to me. I even had the promise ring to prove it! I wanted to stay pure for my husband to give him, and only him that gift. But when Senior year came around things began to change drastically. The morals that I stood on for so long constantly fought against his teenage hormones. After months and month of pressure, I gave into sex even though I had no desire to cross that line. I wanted to prove to him that I loved him and his manipulation convinced me that sex was the only way I could. I immediately became disgusted with myself, feeling dirty and flawed for what I had done.

From that point on, everything went downhill. He became demeaning and cruel, and although I should have left him I couldn’t find the strength to. I believed whole-heartedly that he was the man I was suppose to marry, and in my 18-year-old eyes I could never see myself walking away from my future husband. The verbal abuse kept coming, while I continued believing that if I could just give him all he wanted I could fix him. I believed for so long that I could change him, not realizing that was the job of Holy Spirit alone. For years the abuse continued, scarring me deeply. After so many years of loving this man, I couldn’t find myself past him.  I became fearful of men and the power they could have over a woman. No matter what anyone told me I should do, I was too afraid to leave him. I didn’t believe that I deserved any better and I thought God would be angry with me for giving up on “the gift” He had given me.

As most teenage love affairs seem to go, he broke up with me about two months after we opened the door to sexual sin. The night we broke up I was in the car with new friends. They saw the pain through my tear stained cheeks and offered me a drink to help me “forget about him.” In that moment I took a really deep look at my situation. I saw how long I had fought and how tired I was of losing. My way obviously led to failure and pain and I figured I had nothing to lose. I got drunk for the first time thatback-1822702_1920 night. Little did I know that it would lead to an overwhelming lifestyle of alcoholism.

That night, I discovered the power alcohol had to make me forget my pain for a moment. For just a few hours I could be numb to the heartache. That black hole that had been growing in me was pushed far away, as I felt alive for the first time in months. I discovered what I thought was the solution for my depression.

I went to a party one night after I had been at college for a few months. I thought it was going to be a normal night but it took a wrong turn. A man who I thought was a good friend ended up raping me. Naturally, you would think that I was wrecked from that moment on, but I really wasn’t. I just became more numb. I discovered that numbness was the key to pain. I hated the idea of becoming a victim so I didn’t tell a soul.

After almost two years of suppressing it, the abuse and rape finally took hold of my emotions. My true desire was to die, but I didn’t have the courage (or cowardess) to kill myself. I was staying in homes with drug dealers, drinking almost daily and giving myself away to men – careful to never make a real emotional connection. 

That was the state I found myself in on Saturday, March 27th, 2010. I was sitting in my apartment, solemnly void of hope. I began crying out to God for the first time in years. I begged, “God, I know your real. And if you still can find any worth in me, PLEASE come save me. I’m dying.” I took a few pills and then fell asleep.

The rest really goes down in history. The next day I went to an Eddie James service. Regardless of the song or who was speaking, I couldn’t stop crying. I was FEELING, again! It was remarkable. That night Jesus Christ met me in a major way! He tore down all my walls and defenses and embraced me with a love that I had never experienced elsewhere in my life. He overwhelmed me with peace and security. He lavished me with HIS worth and HIS purpose.

The Lord has healed me in a REAL way. I tried EVERYTHING just to find peace and learned that it can only come through Jesus Christ. He is the only answer to the hole in every human soul that needs to be filled.

A few weeks later I jumped into full-time ministry with Eddie James. For three years I travelled the world, preaching the gospel and leading dance teams into the most amazing venues. And to think that I was the most unworthy of this kind of blessing. But God loves to use the foolish things to confound the wise 🙂

11148_10151426922427225_1892855996_nSince that time, I have spent months overseas preaching the message of the Gospel to the most impoverished, the prostitutes, and the addicted. In 2012, I married Rakeem Brewington and we had a son just 13 months later. We moved to Cleveland, TN and developed Remnant ministries under the heading of Omega Center International (Perry Stone Ministries). I completed my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology/Crisis Counseling and am a licensed Life Coach through the state of Georgia – working with wonderful young ladies in group homes.gerber-mali

I love the work I get to do. It’s a privilege to minister for the King of Kings who has so ravished my heart.

I vow every day to lay down my life for Christ with the sae determination that He laid his down for me.

I am a laid down lover.

28 thoughts on “Machal Brewington

  1. Wow. This seriously just made me cry. I never knew you had gone through all of this. Some of it is what i’m going through now. Hurt with guys, and my reputation and all of that. I’d love to talk to you. When you guys came to Farmington Heights in Wilson I didn’t have the nerve to just start a conversation with you, but I really would love to talk to you. We need to talk though. Email or something? Let me know. Your testimony is absolutely amazing. Love and miss you guys!

  2. Machal! So glad to see that you are doing well and that you have found Him! I recently went on a volunteer trip with a church and completely fell in love with God and everything about him. I am glad that you are happy and hope you continue your amazing missions to change the world! <3

  3. Wow, Machal.. We lost touch and all but I’m proud of you with all that your doing. I know it was hard getting thru what you went through.. For you to do all of what your doing is amazing and I hope and pray that all the things you want to do to help the others fall right in place for you.. god bless

  4. Machal! I am soooo proud of you! Hearing your testimony is life changing and many people needed to hear it to know that there is a way out rather just wishing death. I knew you had been through some tough stuff since the last time we hung out, but I didn’t realize how much. All I can truly say is keep pressing forward and God will continue to use you in a mighty way. One crazy fact though is that I’m here at Lee now studying to become a missionary pediatrician! Miss & love you! God Bless you girl!

  5. Hi, Machal!
    We don’t know each other, but I saw you dancing at an Eddie James concert last night. I found your blog through a page on facebook.
    I was so excited last night when I received a DVD of Kabod dancing to Holy. I watch it almost constantly, and show anyone I get the chance to show.
    I just wanted to tell you how much I totally love what you and the other members of Kabod do.
    Your story touched me.
    I’ve lived my life in a deep state of depression. But last night, I went through the prayer tunnel, and I was freed of my pain though the wonderful power of Christ!
    God has placed a calling of ministry over my life, and last night’s service really enlightened me on many things.
    One of things being that I don’t need my past.
    “I am your future, so leave your past behind.”
    I’ve been through alot concerning family, and I always thought that those instances were going to shape my future.
    Now I know much, much better.
    God is the ONLY one that has the power and authority to shape my future.

    I love the fact that you are working toward your goals. It gives me the hope and strength to work toward mine.

    1. Keep going Kelsey! It’s so awesome to hear testimonies like this! It shows how real and personal God is. I’m extremely happy for you and the freedom God brought you in your life. Don’t ever look back!

  6. Really love what your doing with your life wish I would have had the chance when I was young LOL even though I’m only 20 love your future goals bein I wanna be a nurse to keep pushing towards your goals

  7. May, you have absolutely no idea how indredibly proud I am of you. You have become an amazing woman of God.. I love you so much. You have become an inspiration to so many people.. Including me. Keep doing what God wants you to, many many amazing and wonderful things will come. I love you and once again I am so very proud of you.

  8. Hey girl! You are amazing woman! I knew that when I met you in Carmi. I dont know if you remember me or not but I was working the fresh fire conf at RIG. I came over to you and told you some thing cause i was just drawn to you for some reason & then my friend brought me over to you to pray for you. He had told me about a lady with ejm tat he felt i was to pray for but i had no idea who it was. so when he brought me to you I was like what! I guess thats why i was drawn to you. I want you to know I think of you often since that night. When I do I say a prayer for you. I dont know why but I still feel drawn to you some how. After reading some of your back ground I may know why. We are alot alike with alot in common. The deams that you have are placed in your heart by the living God I have no doubt. I pray that God makes every dream come true because they are not selfish dreams and from the heart of God. You are seeing through the eyes of god and being moved by what moves his heart. You keep it up girl! Plz Keep me informed on what God is doing in your life. Also I have some of the same interest that you do & If I can ever be of any help plz let me know. If I can I will. I have a heart for young girls for sure. I want them to know they daughters of a king & they are so what there papa says they are. Young girls live with so much insecurity & it causes them to believe a lie therfore making bad choices. God how I pray for them to know there worth. I love ya girl! God Bless you in all you do!

    1. I definitely remember you and appreciate you so much! I believe that through your faithfulness I really was healed that night. You are awesome! It was a bummer not seeing you last weekend but hopefully next time we head up to Carmi you will be able to make it. God bless. And thanks for all the prayers!!!

  9. Wow Machal , you have no Idea how proud I am ! it’s amazing the way God works and we both know exactly what I’m talking about. I love the Medical field as well and you never know we might bump into each other 🙂 Keep it up sweetie and see you soon !

  10. Awesome testimony you are continuing to touch many lives. My wife and I always keep you in our prayers God Bless. Can’t wait to see what plans God has for your future

  11. Machal, this brought tears to my eyes. All these years I never knew all that had gone on with you freshman year. I didn’t judge you, but I did make assumptions and I am so sorry about that. I was wrong not to try and get a deeper look. Seeing where you are now, though, and who you’ve become brings so much joy to my heart. Jesus has so very obviously transformed every aspect of who you are and I am so incredibly proud of you. You are a beautiful picture of grace and restoration, and your past wasn’t easy, but your light can shine so much brighter now because of it. I’ll be praying for you as you get started on the future He’s prepared for you. I know beyond a doubt that your journey will be beyond anything you can imagine. He’s pretty good at that. 😉 Love you, sweet girl. Cait.

    1. Thanks Caitlin. I understand completely why you didn’t see it. I didn’t show people what was really going on. I didn’t want to be that vulnerable so I prefered people’s assumptions. I have no hard feelings at all. Actually, looking back, I really appreciated you while I was at Lee. I’m excited for the future as well. I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing about my past though. I’ve been able to touch so many people that it has been worth it times ten! Love and miss you!

    2. Wow, I had no idea. I guess you got hidden away somewhere. All I can say is that I love you. I have always believed that you were special. You are special! Love, Karen (your mom’s old friend when we met at church of God camp and laughed for the next two years) people come in and out of our lives at the most perfect moments. I am so proud of you. Lead the way, girl….

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